I want to record more

When I say that, I also mean shooting photography. Anything with a camera, I want to do. I have had lots of different equipment over the years, and somehow all I have to show for it is an old "movie" I made as a school project years ago.

It was about an urban legend, and we filmed it outside in the cold with a few mics, lots of phone flashlights, and two cameras.

It was a lot of fun; many people wanted to be part of it. We filmed a marriage scene where, of course, the couple is getting married when the monster shows up and takes her love. It was a lot of fun the entire process.

Why have I not?

If you have been keeping up, you know why I don't. But here, let me explain just a tiny bit more.

I have always had an interest in filmography/photography, whatever phy it is, I love it really. I think the ability to capture a moment is amazing, and the ability to create and curate new ones is, too. I have uploaded and deleted videos on YouTube and across my social media for years now. I am a habitual starter and restarter.

When I get near the end of a project and don't like something, I will scrap it, as I have described before. I have, for a long time, not had many people to help me with projects, which I would consider normal for most people. We do tend to work alone, but it is so hard for multiple reasons.

When I work alone, I don't want any outside eyes looking in if you're not part of the project. Given my behavior, you could say I tend to keep myself in a bubble or have tunnel vision. Therefore, when I am close to completing it and I have had no outside eyes to review it, I will end up with a project I don't like.

What changed?

In truth, not much has changed. Yes, I am still me, but now I have a business. Back then, I didn't have all that to think about. We have employee bills and all these commitments.

Most importantly, the biggest and best change is my partner. She has been one of the people in my life who has encouraged me. If I have an idea, she is behind me. I want to do something silly; she is right by my side.

She is a huge driver in me because I now have a pair of eyes to see my work, and I want to show them what I can do. And since she is helping me, it really is what we can do.